That….

What so ever it is, nothing suffices any more than speaking to my mother and she ending up with the same old “take care” types of stuff, though it is just a minute and a half of conversation or lesser often.

??? 150110 0041hrs IST

Halfway down to sleep, yet restless I woke up, turned the laptop on, connected to the internet just to find out that people follow GMT in London. And yes of course that lead to me doing this post.

So, it is like I have to start to be getting religious again, this whole health thing had so put me away, I feel bad, really bad. And I am losing this whole Zen thing I was building up, or is it just it is not of my type to be Zen types. I am just confused where it is that I am heading, I know I have been in this confusion for a real long time and come back often.

The whole past rejection thing….Blah blah blah…..

Aaargh…..

Damn it!

Aaargh!!…

A little more of me…

I am a sort of guy, who is happy, but doesn’t seem to be so, I just cant express it but say “I am happy”. So what eva, this song has just stuck to mind for a couple of days now. This is from “Love Aaj Kal”

Yeh dooriyan
Yeh dooriyan
Yeh dooriyan

In raahon ki dooriyan
Nigahon ki dooriyan
Hum rahon ki dooriyan
Fanah ho sabhi dooriyan

Kyun koi paas hai
Door hai Kyun koi
Jaane Na koi yahan pe

Aa Raha paas ya door mein ja raha
Janu na mein hoon kahan pe

Yeh dooriyan

In raahon ki dooriyan
Nigahon ki dooriyan
Hum rahon ki dooriyan
Fanah ho sabhi dooriyan

Yeh dooriyan
Yeh dooriyan

Kabhi hua yeh bhi
Khali Rahon pe bhi
Tu tha mere saath

Kabhi tujhe milke lauta
mera dil yeh khali khali haath
Yeh bhi hua kabhi
Jaise hua Aabhi
Tujhko sabhi mein paa li

Tera mujhe kar jaati hai dooriyan
Satati hain dooriyan
Tarsati hain dooriyan
Fanah ho sabhi dooriyan

Kaha bhi na mene
Nahi jeena mene
Tu jo na mila

Tujhe bhule se bhi na
Bola na mene chahun fasla

Bas fasla rahein
Ban ke kasak jo kahen
Ho aur chahat yeh aur jawan
LyricsMAsti.com
Teri meri mit jaani hai dooriyan
Begani hai dooriyan

Hat jani dooriyan
Fanah ho sabhi dooriyan

Kyun koi paas hai
Door hai Kyun koi
Jaane Na koi yahan pe

Aa Raha paas ya door mein ja raha
Janu na mein hoon kahan pe

Yeh dooriyan

In raahon ki dooriyan
Nigahon ki dooriyan
Hum rahon ki dooriyan
Fanah ho sabhi dooriyan

Courtesy: LyricSMasti.com

So I don’t know what am I upto, past three days have been just lying down on the bed with a 102 degree F, and lots of stomach sickening tablets.

02.01.10 0212hrs IST

Yes, It is the wee hours of a Friday night, soon to be a Saturday morning and guess where am I? Well, that doesn’t matter.

I am bored I can say, I am not able to find too many things to work on or work about. Not that I am unhappy about things, I am content.

I am just bored of being this, I need a change, but what do I need as a part of the change.It is like I am going through all those things as in Quarter Life Crisis or something else. I am not frustrated that I want to rip my skull apart and then go for the brains. It is just that I want to feel like standing on the foot-board of an empty bus, that is cruising down the road on a winter evening.

I don’t feel like watching any movies. Nothing is interesting me. I can’t sleep. When I do, the sleep seems not enough. Just feels like speaking to someone, but what do I?

“With the photograher”-My version

Hmmm…. yes, this should be how so ever it is supposed to be, for I have now slipped down into the wee hours of the night, and my mind fuel is on reserve, which implies I cant put enough brains into it, not that I cant, but it is just that it doesn’t need to be spent here, not with reference to the current  situation.

Okay…..so I was like in need of passport size photographs, so I rushed into one of the photo studios and told him, that I needed what I was in need of.

I was then taken to this room where I was asked to stand, so did I. He pointed his camera at me, focused and then clicked. He got the image, now that the camera was “digital” he took a look at the snap. “One more”, he said.

The same thing repeated. After seeing the picture this time, guess what he said?

“Why is your neck so bent?”, he comes to me, pushes my neck in the direction so as to correct the error(as he saw it.) then took a shot again.

I couldn’t help but laugh at it, which indeed resulted in a good picture, though a passport sized one.