Being a “senior”

Here, at my office, this is Tauseef. Tauseef who has four people and three different works(update and check the documents, do some RnD, and check the work of these four people) to take care of. Two of them are elder to me, I guess that should not count at work. And now that someone who was leading me doesnt work here any more, so that puts me in a different role altogether.

It becomes complex to work, get work done, understand multiple problems, be strict, get the deliverables done on time. Show them that you can lead, and lead pretty well.

Sometimes, I need to be harsh to get the work done, I need to decide what is to be done and what way is just the best. Who does what the best. It’s been close to a month I am doing this.

And also I  report to another guy.

I sometimes need to forget that I am a kid inside and grow up to demand the work done, monitor them, make sure, there are no flaws in the work, mine and theirs.

I say all this because I once wanted to be so busy, do everything I could. I am happy doing these things. I thank Him.

Realisations

Well it is all about realisations you see.
Tauseef, as I was wished that I needed a group of good friends, as time passed by I realised that there are very few who care for relationships and the rest are just people who you dont need so much to care about. You cant associate your happiness to their presence or absense. I came off it and then was a stage when I thought I needed someone to love me, someone I’d really connect to and share all my feelings. I thought that would make me happy.
Well I dont say we dont need friends or people who love us. It is just I dont want to say that my happiness depends on them being with me, or thier positive presence in my life.
I am as happy as I should be, all you need is just the will to be happy.
I still remember those lonely times I used to sulk, wondering why no one would give me a call or no one would say “I was missing you.”. That should never mean I am not a good guy. I am a good guy, as good as you’d expect a good friend to be. I say it because I know it. I know it because people say it and people say it because I am.
Well its all that I want to be happy and it is as simple as that. I want to be and when I want something I a right behind it, not gonna leave until I get it.
My happiness is in doing what I want to do. Well making others happy is just a part of the day, you try to make them happy, if they arent, I guess you dont need to go behind them, its their happiness after all.
I have realised that no matter what, it is you who is responsible for all that you have and all that you will have. My happiness cant depend on decisions of others. Not at all.  No way.
As they say “You get exactly what is written for you, nothing more or nothing less”. and “If you dont have something, might be you just dont need it right now.”

I have realised that it was what I wanted, all I wanted is to live on my terms and I mean “my” terms. And I am Alhamdulillah doing it and InshaAllah will keep doing it.

Pride and Honor
Tauseef.