Here, there. Then and now

I used to write, I loved to. I still do.

A couple of years ago, I used to write whenever I felt like, no matter what it was. These days I am just getting busy, busy and busier. Lots of work, lots of people to manage. The funniest part comes when I know I am capable of doing a thing, but the only reason my task is considered a failure is because “my team” couldn’t deliver.

Now everyday I think, what is happening?

I started writing this blog somewhere around 11 am and now its 1 am, I have been working for the 15th hour now, looking into two projects, and making sure 7 people with me have sufficient work for the day.

Life becomes full of surprises as we grow and it sometimes becomes harder to accept those changes, really hard. Parents start to have health issues, you start feeling the need to have someone around you. There are times when you don’t go home any longer to take a break, but just to make sure your folks back home are doing good.

Sometimes I look at the way life has turned out and feels like life is a bitch, but I cant lose hope because of something is not feeling to be right.

Things don’t remain the same, people keep changing. Sometimes thoughts just keep rushing into your mind. It very often happens with me that I start thinking aloud these days. Questions about future, life, parents keep coming into head time and again, and there is no way that we can let go of such thoughts. I mean they are a fact and they have to be accepted. Someone you love is gonna pass away eventually, nothing is eternal. Neither our pain or our gains, the loss or the success we earn.

Sometimes I feel I get saturated with things, so saturated that something that would be the best to excite me now fails and is now just a piece in the dust bin of thoughts.

Thoughts that seemingly don’t matter keep paying a visit to my already cluttered head.

The very fact that I have been writing this piece of blog since a long time shows how things are. There were times when I could write a blog or perhaps more than one a day. Might be its just that I need a good job, reduce the travel and consider things only to a certain extent and let them not bother me. I even forget to live in the moment sometimes and start feeling my presence only after I have spoken something.

Not that I am complaining, but it is just that I feel I deserve better, a lot better.

I never knew something so much would be expected out of me, I have to outgrow my age, behave more mature than I am. This is how life is going on.

No complaints, but a lack of satisfaction.