Posts Tagged 'Love'

Sometimes and always

Everyday that I wake up now has surprises, complications and challenges. Not a day goes by content. I have tried changing everything, I mean my behavior, my time splits, my priorities. I feel like I have not been made to live like peacefully. The work sometimes becomes too much, it becomes very difficult to maintain a balance, but perhaps this is an indication that I need a big change very soon. With the kid, the responsibilities have gone up.

I have never been a satisfied person as such, but things here are just going to another level, everyday that I wake up, I just want to go back to bed again, I look at my colleagues and I feel like I work a lot more than what these people do. I need to earn more money, now the question is whether staying in this job or getting a new one.

What I don’t understand is why is life supposed to be so hard? Why is it that I have always had to run towards things, is it my nature or I attract things like that? Why is is that I end up with utter dissatisfaction with everything I get involved with? Why is it that nothing seems to end properly? Why is it that I cannot take a proper break from things around? Why is it that I really love people and I don’t really love them. Why is it that I end with a thumping heart every morning, why is it that I want to lead a better life when I have everything.

Why is it that I constantly want to change the surroundings I live in? Why is it that I am dissatisfied with any amount of love, work and rest. I get paranoid when I have to decide what I need to do? Why is it that I end up losing everything I loved.

I end up talking to myself of all these things over and over and over again and find no conclusions what so ever, I want to live an extra large life and I find no way towards it.

Now a days, with this new assignment, everything is just getting shattered. I don’t understand if this is the new work or the personal situation I am in right now.

Love you too

So, there is somebody who has been searching for “love you tauseef” on Google that apparently leads to my blog. Now I am pretty sure that this somebody loves some Tauseef, (this cannot be me, I am not that loveable that people would Google for me 😀 ).

Whoever it is, I wish that this somebody finds their tauseef.

Or is it that they land on this page and go away without reading anything from here? What ever it is, love you too for such a phrase to be searching with.

May you find the one you long for so much. But you know, it is all in saying it out. All I have always believed is, if you love someone, say it. It saves so much trouble.

All the best.

Take care.

The so called last one.

I am not single anymore, engaged, still a bachelor though. September 15, I will be done with being 26 by tonight, 16th early morning to be precise.
So what is going to be different I don’t know. So Ramadhan, 26th birthday, have been last as a bachelor InshaAllah,so shall be Bakrid InshaAllah.
Happy I can say I am with being engaged,we don’t speak though, my fiancee n I. We’ve wanted to keep it that way till the wedding.
So what else is new people (as though there is an audience. A ton and more thanks to the Almighty for helping me be and become what I am.
🙂

Life @ 25

What happens around sometimes confuses me, I don’t even know where to begin with, where did the boredom start from, from staying in hostels, eating out for the past 4 and odd years, years of working with no such thing called as proper satisfaction or with something like trying to make friends and failing at it, or shall I say many futile attempts to search where does happiness lie at all, in talking to someone, in sharing thoughts, in making someone else happy. Where?

Sometimes I feel life aint good, it is like living the same day over and over and over again. Things start to make me feel as if i have become a PIA to myself, I aint. I see the same thing in so many people around, do they fake being happy and content or is it just that they go with the flow, I am not a man of that type I like to live by my own rules.

Things start to feel boring so soon, no matter what we do. Or is it being single even at 25 that makes the mind go insane, then I think, how much does having someone next to you solve an issue like this. Is it practical at all. Things have started to appear like a sine wave all ups and downs of emotions, episodes of stroke like, where in the mind thinks and does its best at times and then freezes like the time is still and anything it does would be of no significance at all.

Was it the episode of priya and nitin that has turned my mind insane or is it my wish to live and love as I wanted to created such a havoc.

It is not about being depressed or discontent or dissatisfied here. For me its just a phase I am going through, a quarter life crisis might be. But this aint good, too much of boredom.

I have tons to speak, things I cant just speak with everyone, its just one right person that helps and I have waited long enough, and I still am. Why did this line come in, I don’t know.

This is a little complicated.

Whatever you call it.

, just realised after seeing their pic in the “people you may know” section of facebook that whatever you say to people, no matter how close you think you are to them, or how they make you feel. They just do what they have to, but sometimes you are the who takes all the burn, short or long, deep or superficial, and they just walk past it like they never knew you, atleast it seems to be, but seeing is believing right? So I thought, let it be, if they can after being guilty, so can being the not guilty one, all i did was try to help them.
Forgiving someone needs lot of courage, courage to see yourself hurt and heal over it, courage to look at them and walk away like nothing happened and yet keep in mind, that this could happen again. But it all depends on me how I go ahead, how I decide on things.
What was supposed to be a “whats on your mind” on facebook is now a blog, the one that brings me back. And makes me take off the protection on this one, because I didnt like Priya reading it and making a mess out of our 14 years friendship.
Bye bye woman.
But you know just for the sake of humanity, next time this happens to someone else because of you, make sure you atleast apologize.

a little more…

Breath into me a little more bravery, a little more zeal, a little more life and a little more of devotion.

Breath into me a little more patience, a little more peace, a little more faith and a little more life

Breath into me a little more of me, a little more of You, give me a little more of myself.

That….

What so ever it is, nothing suffices any more than speaking to my mother and she ending up with the same old “take care” types of stuff, though it is just a minute and a half of conversation or lesser often.


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