Posts Tagged 'Tauseef'

Love you too

So, there is somebody who has been searching for “love you tauseef” on Google that apparently leads to my blog. Now I am pretty sure that this somebody loves some Tauseef, (this cannot be me, I am not that loveable that people would Google for me πŸ˜€ ).

Whoever it is, I wish that this somebody finds their tauseef.

Or is it that they land on this page and go away without reading anything from here? What ever it is, love you too for such a phrase to be searching with.

May you find the one you long for so much. But you know, it is all in saying it out. All I have always believed is, if you love someone, say it. It saves so much trouble.

All the best.

Take care.

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To Be or Not To Be

The days are growing terribly painful, my presence at work is not being of any satisfaction to me. It seems like I am losing all my best.

I stay back at work doing nothing, I stay up all night browsing, watching videos, movies what not. The workouts have almost stopped, life seems to have stood still now from a few days, I don’t know where and how am I gonna land up in a few weeks from now. It is a sick mindset what I have right now.

I feel stupid of myself. I am out of any known relationship, the only people I am in touch with is my parents. Friends seem to have gone long, far away. I don’t have any sort of companionship around. I don’t say I am lonely, but surely a company would help a million times.

I have built up tonnes to speak, but with whom is the question. I sit in the bathroom often talking to myself, sometimes even loud enough.

Why does life have to lead into so many complexities, as we grow, especially at 25.

I know just a few simple things like hanging on in times like these will take a long way, but why. Why do we eventually have to look at people who are irrelevantly selfish, sounding silly more than always. Why do we have to …..

I have spent a few days not working at all, and having hell lot of work at the office. The days just go and leave a trace of unhappiness. I see someone at the office, I admire her a lot, for some reason I cant just go straight and talk to her. That is something that grows really embarrassing, it makes me feel cowardly.

How long would I take long rides on bikes, just walk around in streets, eat out alone in diners and restaurants. How long would I have to charge my phone once in four days and pay nothing more than the rental and service bills for my phone. How long will I have to go to sleep being sick. How long will I have to say to myself that I love music and that is what brings me out of the blues. I like these things, I have loved to be like that and I have loved the way things have been so far. But I guess now things I have to change, but the change now is clueless, where do I start, what is going to end with. Where are my dreams?Β  What is the cost I have to pay to get them done?

I just don’t sit and dream, I work and I have worked my *** off for long enough. I wonder what it would like to attain bliss.

Sometimes I feel to jump off a cliff and fall to no end. I need peace of mind. I want to talk to someone. But I want to make clear that I am fine, it is just that things can be so much better.

To her,

It has now been over a year I have seen her. In fact we met so that she could give me my birthday present weeks before it actually was and also to invite me to her wedding.

I never expected that day that it would be so long and time would pass by thinking hearing from you every single day, how ever busy I would be, never an occasion passed without me having scrolled to your number on my phone, but I wouldn’t dial, some sort of fear would stop me, it still does.

The texts that I get from you, “… will call you soon”, I still wait how soon is it going to be. Not that I don’t understand what you are going through. But it would have been great simply to hear you speak for a little while at least. I don’t complain about such things, but you know…

I was never in love with you, not even close. One thought that always comes to my mind and I often say this to Khaja is “I have no complaints with life, but surely her presence around would have made things a lot better”.

We never really shared problems or so, but I really like the way we build a relation and how we have respect for each other. You are the first woman I have liked so much, besides the obvious ones.Β  I miss the way you speak continuously sometimes.

I miss the way we used to catch up randomly for a pizza sometimes, I haven’t had a pizza since then, no proper company to go out you see.

So many things have happened with us, they’ve made us grow with time, taught us change the way we think, but still none of that changed the way we looked for each other. The fact that we both had people around us who meant a lot to each us, but the importance they had never was a factor for us being available for each other when we needed to talk or catch up for a pizza.

One thing added to my realization is that as we grow, people around us grow busy and we grow busy for them too, and we very often lose track of them. But there still will be a few people who talk to you just like yesterday, you are one of those.

It wasn’t easy for me when I split with priya, and the fact that you couldn’t help me move on with it made me realize that, there are certain times when you don’t needs someone’s sympathy or empathy, it is just someone’s being next to you would suffice.

I wish I could really find a chance to say all this to you, but I am not sure how things would go along.

:)

πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜€

I guess Happiness is a virtue.

πŸ™‚ :):) πŸ™‚

:)

Wake up everyday mornin’ and I have a place to go and work, the work also pays you descent enough. People know me there and also like me. I don’t see anything bad on their faces when someone talks to me or asks me something. I am good at a few things and can solve problems, do the work assigned good enough.

Enough work to put me to sleep easily at night. A good place to stay, the place is not mine though, is rented.

I’ve been far from my parents, mentally and geographically and I’ve been close to them both ways. I have seen my mother have a stroke and then recover from it. I have seen them happy, troubled, sad, concerned, and proud. My siblings, the same with them. I love my two cute little nephews.

I have known people who used to be my friends yet be enough of β€œjust there”, and people of the kind that let me think before I speak, people of the kind.Β  I have known people who could just call you a best friend and never care to see if you are alive from the next day. I have seen tall promises break.

I have done things that could have hurt people; I have been bad at times. And I have apologized every single time for a number of times for every little such feeling.

I have been lazy to postpone things for months and I have been careful to finish things right in the middle of the night.

I have Jaffar, Prem, Pra…, Cha… with whom I can just speak or chat without having any thought in the back of my head, straight what comes to my mind.

I don’t have to ask something, I can do what I want. I can say I am free, I don’t feel bound.

Sometimes there are moments when I really want to speak a lot but I run out of people, but I guess that is how the value of a company is realized and I really like those moments as of now. No complaints. And what else, lots of movies to watch, music to listen, blogs to read.

Life is good.

πŸ™‚

At times I feel saturated though, but it’s ok, that is something that keeps things of interest coming in, Changes are the only things that are constant, aren’t they?

Incompl….

Incomplete…. that is what going through my mind, for a few reasons, nevertheless I am happy, convinced, at peace.

Prem got this song to me, when I just saw the video when it was released long time ago. We were like so big fans of Back Street Boys, so we are still.

Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can’t find no rest
Where I’m going is anybody’s guess

I tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It’s written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake

I tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

I don’t mean to drag it on, but I can’t seem to let you go
I don’t wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (alone)

I tried to go on like I never knew you
I’m awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I’m going to be is incomplete

Incomplete

Courtesy: azlyrics (pardon me if the mention is wrong)

New Header…

“Tauseef Stops Thinking”, yeah, I have pretty much, now that it is not serving me any purpose except deforming my gray matter further.

After all there is so much to do, and not just thinking about coming out of a few things, thinking about women who can bitch around and men who can go crazy isn’t it?

Yeah there are lot of things, if you need something new then get rid of old ones..

Hmm that was a good one.

Yeah, what ever. I have designed the header myself, took somewhere like 15-20 mins.

This might be the secone one relating to change following the immediately previous post. But I guess this makes it a bit clear.


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