Posts Tagged 'thought'


Honestly, this is the lowest in person I have felt in a really long time. Things get complicated at times. I wonder, if I should feel bad or feel good about myself. 

There are these realities and the expectations and the actualities, and then the truth that everything looks to be but is not. Tough phase of life at work, never able to understand who is a confidant here and who is not. This part of the world seems so mean, meaner than the rest of the world; of course in the end it is our purpose that matters. Everyone is mean in one way or the other.

It is just that life gets complicated sometimes and simplifying it is yet another complexity. 

Sometimes I feel, even in every day life, there is so much ground to cover; I mean is it that I think too much or take life a little too seriously. Of course it is to take seriously, there is an entire family looking up to you, and to make a mention at work, look and what I do and look at how they see it.

But if these people around are expecting so much, then I must have done something right for sure. But why does it feel like a ton, to feel ok and let things be. Is it that there is so much I want to do in life and I am here, is it because of that I could never look up to someone and speak this out. Is is because of what I expect from life and it comes in front of me like this. But the bigger the dream, the bigger the price.

All I have realized is, nothing good comes easy; and if something isn’t supposed to stay, it wont.

Well, all I ask from Allah SWT is that to keep them thinking of me as highly as they are thinking right now and to cover all my faults and elevate me in His sight and theirs; grant me with the fortune to fulfill everyone’s and my expectations about me and my life, Aameen.


And then….

So, its weird how things are at one time and then they are gone all of a sudden. How things change and how we humans react and respond to them. Funny how life tends to bring to us our most important lessons, but the question is do we learn from them? Or just let things be and fall prey to the circumstances. How complicated could this be to understand what is right in front of us as clear and it could be and yet we fail to understand its true meanings. Holding on to hope, does pay well. In a way or the other. Prayers are eventually answered, what you want will be granted in the way you want or a way the Almighty decreed it to be.

The wisdom sometimes lies in waiting for things to happen, sometimes they take time and sometimes they are just clear and happen in a jiffy. Holding on to a few things could just seem right, but there are times when one would realise, there is a lot at stake whilst holding on to these things.

People and mentalities change or do they evolve? Both of them I guess.

What if we all had the same sense of thought, appreciate the same thing, deny the same thing, live the same way. How would that be? Is it not what we want some how? Things to be the way we wanted them all to be. Have you ever felt that peace at heart when something has turned out the way the way you never expected it to be, the feeling of “it cannot go any worse than this, Thank God!”.

That thing we call hope, you know in the deepest of your hearts that a thing won’t work out yet you still wish with a small peace of your heart that it does somehow, and either ways you are prepared for what is to come. Not many could have gone through that phase I suppose.

Something happened yesterday and today, things I did see coming but yet hoped they wouldn’t, things were big for me. Of course it is matter of one’s perspective we could regard even the smallest thing with the highest if importances or otherwise. And an irony it stands to be how I thought about us being and behaving ourselves. At one moment apparently, finally we all lose it, leave things to change us, but patience in such cases to stand and withstand what is being put in front of us.

I am pretty sure I am falling sick, fever has been taking me over the past couple of days, I better stop writing this and continue at some point of time else.


Why is it that I am at total peace, like I dont have a brain no longer, like someone has sucked out the grey matter.
Why is it that I am convinced everytime that even the biggest scar you carry on your heart sooner or later decorates it.
Why is it that I could forgive and forget the things that lead to so much of a disturbed soul I carried for so long.
Why is it that I am convinced that what has to happen will happen and all I have to do is only ask and work.
Why has it become a conviction that I dont wanna be changing.
Why is that I think of death a lot more frequently than I previously used.
Why is it tht my perspective of death has changed, so has the perspecive of life.
Why is it I now realise I have the guts to say, “Yes, I did it”, though I did it always.
Why is it that there seems to be honor in silences.
Why is it that I have patience now to wait and see what an incident could mean.
Why is it that there is hardly any “why”?
Why is it that I now know, Life is Beautiful.

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June 2018
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